Instruction On Optimism
by LourvelyLynn
Summary: Because La Volpe and Machiavelli can't be around each other without acting like children. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Machiavelli cursed silently, feeling the burn of the sun on his exposed back. Mornings were not his preferred choice of day. He stirred to stretch, then froze, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.

"_Buongiorno,_" purred an annoyingly familiar voice. _Oh, here we go again. _Machiavelli suddenly regretted leaving his window unlocked. He sat up, purposely facing away from his visitor.

"Hello, Volpe. To what do I owe the grace of your presence this morning?" He didn't even bother to conceal the malice in his voice. The thief wasn't welcome, and he knew it. He circled around the bed, stepping within the politician's eyesight.

"No need to worry," Volpe raised his hands in reassurance, quickly sensing the Assassin's irritation. "I'm here on strictly business. Don't shoot the messenger." A wry smile spread across his mouth. Machiavelli huffed impatiently. Mornings were not the right time to deal with infuriating thieves. Or any time, for that matter. "Speak quickly. Some of us have _noble_ work to do."

Volpe sighed. "And here I thought we were making such great progress. Oh, well. Pessimists will be pessimists. Anyhow, Claudia requires our help. It seems someone has been harassing her girls…again."

"Why does she not go for her brother for help?"

"Claudia realizes how busy Ezio can be, so she requested our help. She needs us, Niccolo. No amount of slacking will make this problem go away. And I'm positive that you would rather help a fellow Assassin than deal with paperwork." His violet eyes bored into Machiavelli's.

The politician waved his hand impatiently. "Fine, fine. I'll meet you at the brothel in an hour."

La Volpe nodded solemnly, then turned to leave through the window. He placed a foot on the sill, then paused. "Oh, Machiavelli?"

"_Si?_"

"You might want to start locking your window. You never know what kind of monster could come in."

A book traveled through the air, aimed for the fox's backside, but he was already gone.

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><p><em>*cough* So, first fanfiction! This was supposed to be a oneshot, but then a nasty plot bug made a home in my cranial cavity, and this was born. Urm, I'm sorry this is so short, but I promise, there will be tons more to come. Expect heaps of distrust and sass from both parties. 'Cause, y'know, Machiavelli and La Volpe have to behave like ten year olds toward each other. Mrmm, I'm getting all excited at the thought. <em>

**Ooh, look! I see people with keyboards and knowledge of the English language! I wonder what they're capable of… (Reviews are greatly appreciated) **

_~Lynn_


	2. Chapter 2

Machiavelli stared up at the building that was the Rosa in Fiore. He visited the brothel often, not because of the services offered, but because the courtesans were important assets. They provided great distraction and camouflage; they could also wield a blade when needed to. However, they certainly were no Assassins, and were easily bullied by any power-crazed brute who felt they had a right to domineer everyone and everything. They might've been whores, but they were still human beings. Machiavelli watched with palpable distaste as La Volpe flirted with a small group of courtesans. Claudia stood nearby, looking around anxiously. When she spotted Niccolo, she let out a sigh. Even from a distance, he could see the bags under her eyes and the way every breath seemed to take a lifetime away from her. He approached cautiously.

"You said this wouldn't happen again!" She hissed the last word. Machiavelli opened his mouth, but she quickly cut him off, her anger and frustration getting the best of her.

"I even took the necessary precautions; larger groups, different routes..." Her eyes suddenly darkened.

"Four girls in a week, Niccolo. _Four._ The rest are too scared to go outside. Some have even run away. Tell me, how do you justify killing a woman? This is a monster I'm dealing with, Machiavelli."

He placed a firm hand on her shoulder. "Do not worry, Claudia. La Volpe and I will take care of everything."

She gave him a frustrated look. "I hope so; I truly do."

Even as they were giggling, La Volpe could sense the unease in the girls. It seemed that all of them were inside, which was a rare sight. Other than La Volpe and Machiavelli, there was no other male in sight. After seeing Claudia stomp away from Machiavelli, La Volpe broke away from the girls to join him.

"What are we going to do?" La Volpe questioned.

Niccolo stared at the thief, as if seeing him for the first time. He shook his head and clasped his hands behind his back.

"I have a few ideas, but I will require the use of your thieves. If my suspicions are right, then this is more than one person."

"Of course, you need not ask. I will have my men patrolling the streets day and night. I imagine you will be putting your Assassins to good use?"

"_Si._ They have been longing for some excitement, especially with their Mentor being wrapped up in his own matters."

As Machiavelli gave a hasty farewell, La Volpe watched him leave, realizing that no matter the amount of time they spent near each other, they would never be friends (in a very loose interpretation of the word). Despite both of them being tightly woven into the same organization, they just couldn't obtain the amount of trust that was usually displayed towards allies. Volpe's forehead creased in frustration. Why should he care? Niccolo Machiavelli was always going to be an arrogant, political bastard; La Volpe the leader of a pack of thieves.

So why was he feeling like he wanted more?

* * *

><p><em>Ohmaigosh. I feel like this is possibly one of the worst things I've ever written. I was so obsessed with finishing this that the quality took a crushing blow. As you read this, I'm throwing myself at your feet, begging for forgiveness. *gives puppy face*<em>

_So, I happened to take a good look at the calendar, and my birthday is in 12 days. (March 26th for all you mathematically challenged people) I'm not asking for anything, seriously, you people barely know me. Just don't try and commit all sorts of debauchery on my birthday, 'kay?_

_Have any of you seen the Assassin's Creed 3 trailer? I was bouncing off freakin' walls. It comes out the day before Halloween. (In the UK, it comes out on Halloween. Lucky bitches.)_

_Okay, this is getting to be the longest Author's Note, ever, but I still have more things to say!_

_Huge, unadulterated bowls of happiness to: Kiminoloko, X-tremeFighter2000 and OpheliaRisen (and two anon persons) for reviewing! You guys truly make my day._

_Delicious, vegan coconut cupcakes to: ..13524, Dark-Zeblock, X-tremeFighter2000, Yurei Hanatsuki and OpheliaRisen for adding this story to your favorites._

_Sloppy, wet kisses to: Yurei Hanatsuki, Kiminoloko, X-tremeFighter2000, Deweyyful, OpheliaRisen and lee-lo the assassin for wanting to be alerted when I posted the next chapter. _

_All of you make me want to cry waterfalls of joy. I love you all. _

_Until next time, _

**~Lynn**

_P.S. By the way, here in Florida, it's spring break, so I will not do any writing during this sacred week. Just to let you know._


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